A glimps of myself.

sandra bullock 28 days

OH!! I’m filling up watching this clip. I didn’t mean to find this.OH!! I’m glad I did tho.

For some reason over these past few weeks I’ve been looking at Video clips of music from 1972 to 1979. I daren’t tell you the songs I’ve been listening to. One of them was ‘The year of decision’ The Three degrees.

Well …It’s Adele’s birthday on Thursday and she’s coming to my house at weekend with friends to celebrate. It’s Awww!!and OMG!! All in one. Smiling.Anyway I kinda like the dance routine that The Three Degree’s have going on in a clip I saw, I thought we could dress up and get a routine together for Adele’s birthday treat.So I was having a look to see if that would be possible.

Anyway the opening music in the clip The Year of Decision instantly brought me to a thought of some music I’d heard on something.You know when you know you know something but you don’t know where you know it from-it was one of them.

Anyway-it came to me. It was some music I had heard whilst watching 28 Days. So I put 28 days in You Tube. 28 days is the story of a woman who goes into a 12 step treatment in America. When I was in treatment they gave you this as a light hearted Saturday night film to watch.( light hearted..Yer Right! )

OH!! I don’t know if I should have done this. It’s  brought up loads for me. I am Sandra Bullock in 28 days you’ve no idea. Ha!! What do you think Adele. Adele will see this more than anyone I think. Thank you sweetheart for visisting me in mad institutions.

Everything-even to her making good her escape out of the window.Her treatment friend overdosing and dying even the way she says ‘Why don’t you all fuck off’ in group her expressions are me all over. Awww!!!!! Even her ‘Verbal Commitment’ the plaque round her neck. Confront me, I don’t ask for help. Yes!! I had that commitment to. I never had to wear a plaque round my neck tho.

The clip I would have prefered to have put here is titled. ‘Sandra Bullock 28 days Moving video’. It wouldn’t post to the blog though.That clip gives you a bit of an idea of what it’s like in treatment, especially 12 step treatment.It’s so like how it shows - honest. Was for me. Take a look. Put it in You Tube. It’s awww!! It’s heart wrenching for me. I prefer this clip to the clip I have put here.

Sandra Bullock well done. I think you portray being an inpatient in a residential treatment unit really well. Your acting my story.Awww!! Your script is my story. A part of it anyway. I was so like Sandra Bullock in treatment it’s uncanny. She sits there writing all night. I’m like that today.Smiling. Treatment is so intense (depending on where you go) it’s difficult to let some of the ’stuff’ you were brainwashed into believing go.

In some places they break you down to build you back up. But! They try to build you back up to how ‘they’ believe you should be - not who you truly are. Treatment can be quite damaging you know okey!You may stop using drugs ( whilst your in there ) you can also risk loosing the true essence of  who ‘YOU’ are and spend a life time trying to sift through all the mess. Mess you wouldn’t have even known about it you wouldn’t have gone into treatment.Anyone get me.

Thank you for reminding me that I never want to go into another treatment centre in my life as an inpatient or working in one. However the connection’s and bonds you make with people in treatment are one of the strongest I have ever felt in my life.  The rewards have been tremendous really.( Okey!! I know about the brainwashing and cult like tactics) but…never the less.

I’m thankful for the impact of those experiences, they helped and continue to do so with my interactions with people today. Actually I can get a bit to intense you know. I get on my ‘Honest Jonny’ trip (and do you know what) I have never said those words before in my life. ( Honest Jonny) OMG!! Is that a saying or something. Honest bloody Jonny.Hehe!! Where the bloody hell did that come from. I better go and make some coffee and smoke.

Yes!! Anyway I get on one of those trips and forget that….well that all people haven’t had the same emotional journey as I have.. The intense fashion I have.Of course we all have our own journey’s don’t we and all have different levels and situation’s where it’s ‘INTENSE’ but I’m sure anyone that has had a 12 Step- Step One Group will agree it’s fucking intense. Ha!

 My treatment experiences, well my last one was quite a few years ago now. They still and I think always will dominate parts of my life. Some days for me can be quite intense.

And on that note me name’s ‘Goff and I’m Off’

~~~~~Hugs&Smiles~~~~~