Ego verses the true self.

Ego verses the true self.

 

I’d like to ramble about that little or big ‘fuck up’ we have called ‘THE EGO’

Yes!

 I feel affected by my own and others egotistic traits at the moment. I’ve not wrote for a while now about how affectd I feel by ’stuff’, been trying to move away from writing – as much as my writing journey has positive effects on my emotional journey it can also be negative for me to in some ways. A story for a different day.

For our purposes, suffice it to say that the ego is the part of the self that most people present to the world.  But, unfortunately, far too many people confuse who they are with their ego. Think about individuals who define their worth by their beauty or their possessions. Or those people  you know you have to be “careful” around because they get defensive and/or hurt easily. These individuals take their ego too seriously… These people live for the facade, and hide the truth. Hide who they really are.

When I refer to the “self,” I am referring to the “higher self:” The part of you that is connected to  nature or the Universe, or whatever you believe in. Your soul. Your center. The little voice in the back of your head in the pit of your tummy that knows – and tells you what you need to do. Most of the time, you won’t like where the little voice is telling you to go. You will compulsively want to do what immediately feels good instead. Some of you instead fall prey to compulsively doing what feels bad – as in compulsively reacting out of guilt or shame. Either way, later, you’re likely to find yourself thinking along the lines of, “I knew I should have…” There is confusion and self-doubt when the self is ignored. 

But, the self is not splashy or loud. The self whispers while the ego SHOUTS. The more busy-work, activity and distraction, chatter, or obsessive-compulsive activity of any type (e.g., any addiction) interferes, numbs or distracts your ability to hear the internal message. When you “sit with your feelings” or “do nothing,” you give your higher self a better chance of being heard.

The higher self also speaks to you through your physical body. Your body often reacts to information from the self: you are so upset, you feel nauseous, get a migrain or your stomach is tied in knots You are so worn, you want to sleep but can’t.. Your heart palpitates in fear or your knees quiver; you have recurrent dreams or nightmares… The self may be trying to talk to you! The self may be telling you that the emotional “air” you are breathing is toxic. In most cases, it is not the victim’s job to learn how to deal with the stress of the relationship; it is the victim’s job to heed the body’s warning signals – and get out.
Self-Care or Self-Indulgence?

“Take care of the self”, “be your own best friend”, “love yourself.” Ask yourself, What action enhances my self-esteem? Even if you crave the immediate feel good fix,instant gratifcation or cheap thrills let integrity be your guide!
An example is this when you feel hurt because someone insulted you. This is ego. Feel great with praise? This is ego. A managed ego state (or egoless state) is free from emotional attachment and reaction from the judgment of others. When ego is attacked or hurt, it does what ego does: fights and hurts back for ego is not love, it is separation.
Another ego fact made evident is the process of limiting. Words are limiting; emotions are limiting for you are blocked and biased. This is why a meditation method is to focus on nothingness because nothingness is really everything-ness. Words limit. As soon as we form a thought, we have limited ourselves. This does not mean don’t think or feel, just know that when you do, you are only seeing, feeling, and experiencing part of the whole.

When you run from the whole and chase the parts, you start to create blocks. If I chase good and block bad I start to create a fear that bad will occur. The judgment of bad is again ego’s labeling. I’ll give you an example of this blocking. As a child grows up, their ego starts to develop. The powerful presence in their life is their parents. If a parent does something (or even the lack of doing something such as giving love) this causes the young person’s ego to react, causing pain. This does not feel good so they start to suppress the inward flow of this emotion, or in some instances, they overreact for the rest of their lives resulting in the millions of obsessive compulsive, neurotic, anxious, phobic and suicidal people on this planet! They block their chakras, grow ill and eventually perish.

Once you acknowledge, understand, and accept ego, you can start to manage it, and eventually be free of it.

Because ego’s greatest fear is the death of itself, we cannot “attack it head on.” We have to be more subtle in our approach of ego. It also does no good to suppress it for suppression is not resolution.

How I personally deal with my ego state is to become friends with it. When I feel something that makes my ego react (an insult for example, a rejection, unkindness) or, I allow that feeling to come to the surface (non suppression).I feel the pain and presure resulting in a migrain of late. I analyze the triggers that that fire off in my brain (adrenaline, fear, etc.)and then I try to reprogram it with new emotions (love, laughter, and compassion). Fucking hard work tho. I allow the initial ego feelings to pass, and then I bring warmth and gratitude to the situation. I either thank the person for giving me this opportunity to grow, or I send them compassion for showing me that they are the pain in me and I am the pain in them. If they attack me, there is hurt in them, if I react, then there is pain in me. Healing is required of us both.

I really try and look at an attacking person as an aspect of me (wholeness). They are merely suffering individuals. This does not require my retribution, but my love. This is very hard to do though as long as ego is present, but it is doable.

This is a lifelong endeavor. It starts with acknowledgement, lives through understanding and acceptance and finds resolution in love.

There is a misconception in this day and age that the ego is a bad thing that must be subdued or banished from our being… however, by doing this we are only ignoring a part of ourselves that is as relevant as any other… by casting out pieces of our soul, we find ourselves in states of imbalance in which we may become incomplete and lost. If we stay in these states too long, soul retrieval may become necessary in order to make ourselves whole again.

Some of us will need to learn how to boost our egos, some of us will need to learn how to subdue it – but in both cases, the key is to first RECOGNISE it, then ACCEPT it as part of ourselves – the last thing we must do is pretend that it does not exist… what we like to ignore likes to turn around and bite us on the arse! This is your Higher Self’s way of saying, “Hello…?! Am I awake down there?! I need to be paying attention to this!!!”

Unconditional acceptance of the self (including all of its negativities) leads to unconditional acceptance of others, for with it comes the realisation that we are all the same, and all completely different.

When we work with the ego in this way, something amazing happens… we begin to transcend it… and the ego learns bit by bit how to grow more humble… how to work with humility. And so the ego and the spirit combine, teaching each other that there is a time for identity and self-confidence and there is a time for self-release and vulnerability… the two are combined, like dark and light… one state cannot exist without the other.

OH!

Fuck..I need coffee now and I so need to smoke.

Love to all who stumble upon this post, let’s just all be careful not to hurt others with our over inflated ego’s or needs for ego boost.

Dose Pesky Ego’s.

Love
Diane.

It’s a world. X